The Circus – 26 May

The Llama knew

Thursday’s edition of The Circus brought you the news of Psychic Pig, the psychic pig. In latest developments, Ukraine’s EURO 2012 porcine prophet is reportedly media shy.

This is a quality The Circus is sure is legitimate and in no way concocted to ensure Psychic Pig can be replaced by a body double in the event he is inadvertently incorporated into one of Ukraine’s national dishes during the tournament.

Psychic Pig is being shielded by his protective media handlers and will make his prediction ahead of each game in a specially built house in Kyiv.

Someone who knew all of this before it happened was British newcomer Llama Predictor.

Like Psychic Pig and his Polish counterpart Citta the elephant, Llama Predictor tuned up for EURO 2012 by picking the winner of this month’s UEFA Champions League final.

When the camera stopped rolling, Llama Predictor reportedly also tipped that John Terry would turn up in Munich and make a rooster of himself – although to be fair that’s not the sort of prediction for which you need to be psychic.

Goalkeeper’s got talent

With TV shows involving dancing or singing or both seemingly in their zillionth incarnation, how is it that producers are yet to latch onto the goldmine that is the hidden talents of goalkeepers?

Take Manuel Neuer – Bayern Munich’s stopper who did what Arjen Robben, Ivica Olic and Bastian Schweinsteiger could not and score a penalty against Chelsea.

Arsenal’s Wojciech Szczesny is a master of the rabona – which it turns out is a shot where the kicking leg is wrapped around the standing leg, and not, as The Circus initially assumed, a former member of Atomic Kitten best known for her misuse of prescription drugs.

Here’s a goalkeeper dashing out of the box in what initially looks like a moment of hare-brained madness, but turns into what must be one of the year’s cleverest counter attacks.

Then there is Cameroon’s keeper – a man who, you suspect, would have got along fine with Colombian goalkeeper Rene Higuita. In this clip from a recent friendly against Egypt he demonstrates the LONG long throw, with single roll and half pike.

Coming to a url near you

Now that hasfernandotorresscoredforchelsea.com reached the end of its usefulness, can someone create a site counting down the days until we see hasfernandotorresjuniorscoredforchelsea.com?

Here’s the little fellow in question, demonstrating all of his father’s playful enthusiasm although, thus far, very little of his ability to spring the Barcelona offside trap.

A critic harsher than The Circus might cite this as evidence that Torres senior has at least created something in the past couple of seasons.

The spoken word

“If we win the Champions League next season, I shave everywhere.” – Montpellier president Louis Nicollin threatens all seeing-eye football fans after his club secured its first ever Ligue 1 title. Nicollin marked the league win by sporting a blue and orange mohawk.

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