European connection: Smithfield family has many ties to Ukraine, Russia
As the United States and the former Soviet Union were locked in a bitter cold war for much of the last century, David and Christy Hinkson of Smithfield could never have imagined how their Utah family might be linked with the formerly communist countries of Eastern Europe.
Now, after three of their sons received mission calls to Ukraine and Russia, and after adopting two boys from a Ukrainian orphanage, the Hinksons have a hard time picturing their family without that intercultural link.
“I feel like there’s some reason for all of this,” David said. His son, Tyler Hinkson, agreed.
“It makes me wonder if we’re just missing something about Russia or Ukraine,” Tyler said, “some special connection with our family.”
Tyler was the first of Christy and David’s sons to be called on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — his call was to Novosibirsk, Russia, a province in Siberia. Although would-be missionaries for the LDS Church decide for themselves whether to devote two years (for the men), 18 months (for the women), or up to three years in some cases (for older couples) to full-time church service, the decision of where the prospective missionary will serve rests with a senior church leader — a member of the LDS church’s Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
That means Tyler’s call to Siberia came as a complete surprise.
“I was excited,” Tyler said. “I didn’t imagine going to Russia, let alone Siberia, I didn’t imagine that two of my brothers would go to Ukraine and I didn’t know that my parents wanted more kids.”
While Tyler was in Russia sharing his beliefs, David and Christy offered to be a host family for the Save a Child Foundation out of Salt Lake City. Founded by two friends of the Hinksons’, Nanette and Vern Garrett, the Save a Child Foundation works with orphanages in Ukraine to arrange a three-week cultural exchange for Ukrainian orphans aged 6 to 15. The nonprofit pays the way for a number of them to come to the United States to see what life here is like — and to see what it’s like to live in a family, according to the organization’s website, http://www.saveachild.cc.
The foundation’s goal is to facilitate intercultural adoptions, Christy said. The idea is for the host families to meet the children, and, should they decide to adopt, the children will be able to make an informed decision for themselves about leaving the orphanage in Ukraine and starting a new life in the United States.
“The hope is that the families will fall in love with them and adopt,” Christy said, and she said that’s exactly how it happened with the two boys they hosted. “We did host, and then we fell in love with them.”
The decision to adopt Vitaliy, who was 11 at the time, and 9-year-old Oleg, who later changed his name to Spencer, wasn’t a decision David and Christy took lightly, or made on their own.
They fasted and prayed together with their eight biological children, and made the decision as a family.
“Every one of us had to agree and pray about it,” said Devin Hinkson, Spencer and Vitaliy’s 19-year-old adoptive brother. “We all decided.”
David said that approach has made all the difference. “Because the whole family was committed and involved, it’s been a sweet experience,” he said.
David and Christy said what gave them the courage — and the final push — to adopt was their second-oldest son, Bryan’s, call to serve a mission in Ukraine.
“Dave said if Bryan gets his call to Ukraine, then we should adopt,” Christy said. When Bryan opened his letter from the LDS Church, and it informed him that he had been called to serve in the Kyiv, Ukraine mission, speaking Ukrainian, the family took it as much more than a crazy coincidence: It was a sign for them to go ahead with the adoptions.
Tyler Hinkson returned from Russia just in time to hug his brother Bryan at the airport on his way to Ukraine. Their mother said it was a sweet reunion — and Tyler’s homecoming was just in time for him to travel to Ukraine with his parents to pick up the two new members of the family.
David and Christy Hinkson said the adoption process took nine months in all — and with all the travel, translation and legal fees, they said it cost about $40,000 to bring Spencer and Vitaliy home.
The Hinksons had originally planned to adopt Spencer’s biological sister, Alina, as well, but she decided not to go to America. The Hinksons were heartbroken, but Alina eventually decided she did want to go after all, and was adopted the Rast family in Layton. Christy Hinkson said Amy Rast, Alina’s adoptive mother, is a good friend of hers, and the two make sure that Alina and Spencer get to see each other often. The Rasts also adopted Spencer and Alina’s little brother, Zhenia, who grew up in a separate orphanage.
Although Vitaliy and Spencer were excited to come to America with the Hinksons, the adoption process was still a challenge for everybody involved.
“It’s hard to get used to the idea that this is your family,” Christy Hinkson said. “We’ve learned a lot — we’ve had a lot of joy and a lot of trials.”
She said some of the trials involved the language barrier, the cultural differences between the United States and Ukraine and the differences between family life and life in the orphanage.
Spencer said when he first visited the United States for the three-week exchange, the only word he knew in English was “thanks.” His adoptive father, David, recalled how Spencer would run up to him and just start speaking in Russian like he should understand. The family said they did their best to learn basic words in Russian, but for the most part, everyone used Tyler, recently returned from his mission in Russia, as a translator and go-between.
“It was hard being the middleman,” Tyler said. “I kind of felt like it was a hindrance for the kids to learn English.”
Food was different too. Spencer and Vitaliy said standard fare at the orphanage was soup with bread, pretty much every day. Christy Hinkson said when her adoptive sons first came home, they loved vegetables and couldn’t get enough of them, and David Hinkson said Vitaliy gained about 30 pounds in his first month living in the U.S.
The two boys didn’t love all of the new food, however. For the first little while, their family said they refused to eat sauce with their spaghetti and insisted on eating their salsa like soup. Vitaliy said he learned the hard way that they would get in trouble if he skipped school, and Christy Hinkson said that because everything was always decided for them, her new sons had a difficult time with the concept of being accountable for their own time.
“You do learn a lot about love — I think it goes both ways — we’ve learned a lot about love and what we can do to extend love, and so have the boys,” David said. “I think there’s a lot of misconceptions about adoption. It’s not about adopting for you (as the adoptive parent), it’s adopting for them, to give them a better life. If you go about it with the other attitude, it’s going to be too hard.”
“I think all of us learned patience — I can see it in all of the kids and in my parents,” Tyler Hinkson said. “I feel like we take the time to understand what each other is feeling before we judge.”
Through the difficulties that inevitably arise when forming any family, the Hinksons said it’s not only been worth it, now they can’t imagine it being any other way.
“It’s different to have two new brothers,” said Alisa Hinkson, 13. “Before, I couldn’t imagine having two new brothers. Now I couldn’t imagine not having two new brothers.”
Devin agreed: “Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like they’re been adopted,” he said. The family said Spencer and Vitaliy now fit in so well, it’s hard for others to guess which out of the Hinksons’ 10 children were adopted.
The Hinkson family connection to Eastern Europe didn’t end there, however. A few months ago, Devin received a mission call to Kyiv, Ukraine, the same mission as his older brother Bryan. While Bryan learned and spoke Ukrainian on his mission, Devin will be speaking Russian.
“When I first opened up my call, I thought I would go someplace different from my brothers, but it was the perfect blend of both my brothers’ missions,” Devin said. He said he was planning to say — as a joke — that he’d been called to Ukraine, but when the call really was Ukraine, he said the joke turned out to be on him.
The Hinkson family believes their inexplicable link to Eastern Europe may not end there, however. About a week and a half before Devin Hinkson got his mission call, Vitaliy said he had a dream that Devin met his biological parents in Kyiv.
All this for a family whose parents never could have imagined growing to love the people whose countries had been counted as the United States’ former enemies.
“Parents, be careful what you say to your kids about other cultures,” Christy said. “Don’t say anything’s bad, because your kids might go on missions there.”